Why the Holidays Can Make You Feel Home Alone—And How to Handle It
Inspired by Home Alone
Welcome to The Media Room 📺—where we dive into the themes behind the movies, shows, and media we love.
Christmas music started playing the day after Thanksgiving, and the tree at Rockefeller Center went up two weeks ago. Hot chocolate with specialty-flavored syrups like gingerbread and salted caramel graces every coffee shop's menu. Mariah Carey's bank account grows by the minute as "All I Want for Christmas" plays on repeat. These are all signs of Christmas in America, and the only thing left to add to the list is rewatching holiday classics like Mary Poppins, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and the infamous Home Alone.
As Christmas lights glow on every block, gift-wrapping paper sells out, and dinner menus are planned for Christmas day, amid all the holiday cheer, we sometimes fail to recognize that for many, the holidays can be a time of deep loneliness, family chaos, and emotional exhaustion.
Thirty-four years after the release of the beloved classic Home Alone, rewatching it as an adult hits differently, especially during this festive but complex time of year. Home Alone explores the depth of holiday loneliness and family tensions while offering unexpected wisdom about setting boundaries, preserving inner peace, and finding meaningful connections.
Loneliness: Being Alone vs. Feeling Alone
Celebrating Christmas looks different for every family. Some folks wake up in Paris on Christmas Day, opening their French doors to a balcony with views of stunning architecture, sipping a perfectly crafted cappuccino that would put Starbucks to shame while savoring a decadent, buttery croissant, while the flakes unknowingly stick to the top of their chins. Then there are folks like me, who might whisk together two eggs, slap some cream cheese on a bagel, text "Merry Christmas" to the family group chat, and plop down on the couch to watch Netflix.
Then there are those sitting at a dinner table with a beautiful spread, wearing an ugly Christmas sweater—forcing laughs at unfunny jokes, dodging uncomfortable questions, watching the clock waiting for the moment of their great escape, and scrolling through social media to avoid their present reality. Though surrounded by people, loneliness wraps around them like a weighted blanket, leaving them feeling trapped and isolated.
The central premise of Home Alone is Kevin accidentally being left behind by his family on Christmas Day. Kevin’s initial reaction to being left behind is excitement—he can do whatever he wants without interference. He doesn’t have to worry about boring conversations or family members provoking his peace. But as the days go by, his independence begins to feel hollow. He misses his family, even the parts of them that drive him crazy. This arc mirrors the dual nature of loneliness: it can be both physical (actually being alone) and emotional (feeling disconnected even when surrounded by others).
During the holidays, many people experience:
Physical Loneliness: Being away from loved ones due to distance, estrangement, or loss can make the season feel isolating.
Emotional Loneliness: Even when surrounded by family or friends, you may feel unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected—similar to Kevin’s longing for genuine connection despite the chaos around him.
Psychologically, loneliness can be linked to feelings of low self-worth, rumination, and even heightened stress. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid, especially during a time when societal expectations around “holiday happiness” can make loneliness feel even more pronounced.
There's an important distinction, however, between loneliness and solitude. Being alone doesn't automatically mean you're lonely. You can have a peaceful, cheerful holiday curled up on your couch, enjoying a solo dinner at a restaurant, treating yourself to a movie, or taking a quiet, meditative walk.
As you prepare for Christmas, consider what you need to feel supported, especially if you're already experiencing physical and emotional loneliness.
Ask yourself:
What does joy mean to me? And what would it take to cultivate an experience of joy during the holidays?
Family Chaos: The Struggle to Feel Seen and Valued
Speaking of emotional loneliness, this feeling can manifest when you exist within a toxic, dysfunctional family system.
A dysfunctional family is characterized by neglectful, disruptive, and abusive behaviors that negatively impact the social and emotional well-being of its members.
Examples of family dysfunction include:
Substance misuse/abuse
Sexual, physical, and emotional abuse
Emotional and physical neglect
Parentification
Enmeshment/codependency
Secrecy, gossiping, and exclusion
The McCallister family’s chaotic dynamic offers a familiar glimpse into the tension that can arise during family gatherings. Kevin’s Uncle Frank, in particular, embodies the toxic family member archetype—self-centered, dismissive, and unapologetically rude. Uncle Frank’s behavior underscores how family relationships can sometimes make you feel small, undervalued, lonely, and tempted to cut ties altogether.
For many, the holidays bring:
Toxic Interactions: Certain family members may demand attention, push boundaries, or act entitled.
Emotional Exhaustion: Being around critical or overbearing relatives can leave you drained, as if you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
If being with family feels overwhelming, it’s important to practice emotional attunement—paying attention to what you’re feeling and why. If the dynamic feels harmful, consider setting boundaries, even if it means limiting your exposure to certain people.
Remember: You deserve respect and have every right to prioritize your emotional well-being during the holidays—just as you would any other time of year. Don't feel pressured to endure mistreatment simply for the sake of maintaining holiday cheer.
Fighting Off the “Burglars” in Your Life
I've watched Home Alone more than a dozen times and recently uncovered a fascinating theme. The Wet Bandits in Home Alone represent more than just comic relief—they symbolize persistence in taking what isn't theirs. Every time they are harmed by one of Kevin's traps, they keep coming back. They behave as if they are invincible and are so hell-bent on robbing Kevin that they could care less about the consequences. Like seriously, how many times do you have to get knocked out before you learn a lesson or two?
This revealed to me that Kevin’s battle to protect his home mirrors the emotional labor we sometimes endure during the holidays to protect our peace and energy from those who endlessly feel entitled to it.
This might show up as:
People Who Drain You: Those who take without giving, demand too much, or expect you to cater to their needs without considering your boundaries.
Unrealistic Expectations: Feeling like you must meet everyone’s demands, say “yes” to every request, or give more than you have.
Kevin's clever traps remind us that it's perfectly fine to say "no" and protect our peace. Setting boundaries—whether declining invitations, avoiding draining conversations, or limiting contact with exhausting people—isn't selfish; it's essential self-care.
Finding Connection in Solitude
One of the most poignant moments in Home Alone is Kevin’s visit to the church, where he reconnects with Old Man Marley. Through their unlikely friendship, Kevin learns that even in loneliness, connection can be found in unexpected places.
If you’re feeling isolated this holiday season, consider:
Seeking New Communities: Volunteer, attend local events or join virtual gatherings to find others who may be feeling the same way.
Reconnecting with Yourself: Use quiet moments to reflect, journal, or engage in activities that bring you joy.
Creating Your Own Traditions: Bake cookies, decorate your space, or watch your favorite holiday films—simple rituals can provide comfort and meaning.
Psychologically, finding small ways to connect—with yourself or others—can help combat feelings of loneliness by fostering a sense of belonging and purpose.
Do you have any holiday traditions you’d like to create this season?
The Holidays as a Mirror
The holidays, like the burglars in Home Alone, have a way of forcing us to confront what we’d rather avoid: loneliness, family dynamics, and the need for boundaries. But just as Kevin learns to navigate his challenges, we can find ways to make the best of difficult situations.
Key takeaways from the film include:
It’s Okay to Feel Lonely: Acknowledging loneliness is the first step to addressing it.
Boundaries Are Essential: Protecting your peace doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you wise.
Connection Can Be Found Anywhere: Whether it’s with a neighbor or a friend or cultivating a deeper connection with yourself, meaningful connection is always possible.
The Takeaway: Embrace the Season Your Way
Home Alone reminds us that while the holidays can be filled with joy, they can also bring challenges. Whether you’re feeling lonely, navigating family chaos, or protecting yourself from those who take more than they give, remember that you have the power to create your own sense of peace and connection.
Like Kevin, you may feel "home alone" during this season, but by setting healthy boundaries, staying self-aware, and thinking creatively, you can turn a lonely holiday into an opportunity for personal growth, healing, and maturing.
What themes from this piece resonated with you? Are you rewatching any holiday classics? Leave a comment and stay tuned for Friday’s email: Reflect & Release!