Framing is huge. For a long time, I felt like a failure because I didn't achieve a lot of the goals I had for my life, or didn't reach the potential others saw in me (which can be a kind of trap, but that's a whole other topic). I often made big decisions with an eye towards "redeeming" my past mistakes, expecting success to erase the pain of past failures (news flash: if you don't change your mental framing, it doesn't).
Then one day I realized I could also see those painful "big" failures as the natural result / necessary cost of high ambition at a young age when you don't really know what you're doing. This is the self-compassion OP referenced. Reframing helped me break away from "emotionalizing" all my past problems so I could see a larger perspective. Now instead of thinking "oh I failed so bad, I was so stupid!" i look back on these things and am proud of my ambition and courage.
Framing is huge. For a long time, I felt like a failure because I didn't achieve a lot of the goals I had for my life, or didn't reach the potential others saw in me (which can be a kind of trap, but that's a whole other topic). I often made big decisions with an eye towards "redeeming" my past mistakes, expecting success to erase the pain of past failures (news flash: if you don't change your mental framing, it doesn't).
Then one day I realized I could also see those painful "big" failures as the natural result / necessary cost of high ambition at a young age when you don't really know what you're doing. This is the self-compassion OP referenced. Reframing helped me break away from "emotionalizing" all my past problems so I could see a larger perspective. Now instead of thinking "oh I failed so bad, I was so stupid!" i look back on these things and am proud of my ambition and courage.
This is so helpful, Adam. What a powerful way to share how reframing has helped you in your journey. Thank you so much for sharing!