What Cleo Sol’s Rose in the Dark Teaches Us About Growth & Self-Love

Lessons for Healing, Growing, And Maturing

Welcome to The Playroom—where I explore the emotions, themes, and lessons hidden in the songs we love, along with cultural moments that shape the world of music.

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A year ago, I experienced a breakup that filled me with grief and a sense of ambiguous loss¹. I mourned not just the relationship but the future I had imagined—a life that would never materialize with that person. I chose to end things because I didn't want to plant seeds in soil I knew wouldn't yield good fruit.

Although leaving was my decision and a healthy choice, the pain and sadness weighed heavily on me, serving as a reminder that growth and self-love can also evoke difficult emotions that are complex and not always gentle or easy. To cope, I reached into my self-care bag of healing tools and found reprieve in Cleo Sol's Rose in the Dark.

Her 2020 album Rose in the Dark isn't just music—it's a meditation on healing, self-discovery, and learning to soften into life's transitions. With her warm, soothing vocals and introspective lyrics, Cleo Sol creates what feels like a psychologically safe space for anyone navigating the messiness of becoming, healing, and self-discovery.

As I was serenaded by the lyrics to the single Rose in the Dark, bopping my head and singing aloud, "It'll be alright," her words felt like a warm, tight hug I didn't know I needed. The song Rose in the Dark teaches us that life's rough patches can feel like endless, dark tunnels, and heartache has a way of blindsiding us. Yet Cleo Sol reminds us that there's beauty in learning how to grow and find ourselves again, even through challenging times.

Here are a few lessons Cleo Sol teaches us in Rose in the Dark.

1. Letting Go is Often the Path to Finding Yourself

Cleo Sol's lyrics in Rose in the Dark capture a universal truth: sometimes, we must walk away from something–or someone–to truly find ourselves. Growth carries deep grief because it involves not just adding new experiences but shedding old versions of ourselves. We often resist facing who we could become, even when our current self no longer serves us. Learning to trust yourself, let go of what no longer serves you, and embrace the unknown can be deeply uncomfortable but if we cling too tightly to relationships, expectations, or past mistakes, we remain stuck. Letting go isn't about failure–it's about making space for who we're becoming.

2. Forgiveness and Self-Compassion Are Critical for Healing

Then the light came, baby

Right after I forgave me

And I prayed so hard, I thought I'd lose my mind

After a mistake or a painful experience, it's easy to sink into self-blame and judgment. We replay what we could have done differently or berate ourselves for trusting the wrong person. This behavior is called self-criticism–the act of harshly evaluating ourselves–and it has never been proven to be an effective coping mechanism for overcoming mistakes.

Rose in the Dark reminds us that self-forgiveness is essential for healing, growth, and maturity. As humans, we're bound to make mistakes. Sometimes, we find ourselves caught in cycles of dysfunction, repeating patterns that lead to self-sabotage. Breaking free however, starts with forgiveness and self-compassion.

Dr. Kristin Neff's work on self-compassion² highlights that when people are kinder to themselves, they are less likely to experience shame, anxiety or criticism, and they are more likely to experience an increased self-esteem and sense of resilience.

When learning to be kind to yourself, a simple but powerful practice is asking yourself, "What would I say to my younger self?" Then, speak those words to yourself. This exercise helps build self-compassion and creates space for growth.

Remember: Self-compassion isn't about ignoring mistakes—it's about acknowledging them without letting them define your worth. True self-love shows up in the way we talk to ourselves on hard days, the way we forgive our mistakes, and the grace we give ourselves as we heal.

3. Things Can Actually Get Better

I'm a little stronger baby

Took a little longer, maybe

Tell my younger self to enjoy the ride

Do you know, do you know, do you know that things get better?

Do you know, do you know, do you know?

Cleo Sol challenges our inclination to self-deprecate³ and assume the worst by encouraging us to believe that things actually do get better. Growth and healing can be messy, hard, and complicated, but despite the storms, hardship, and adversity, it's possible that good things can happen. The peace, joy, and happiness you desire can materialize–but it may not come on your timeline.

It might take a little longer to get to where you're trying to go, but taking longer doesn't mean growth isn't happening along the way. Growth is an ongoing process, and Cleo Sol gently reminds us that the journey itself is worth embracing.

One powerful way to embrace this journey is by setting small, compassionate intentions that honor your healing process. Unlike concrete goals, intentions focus on how we choose to move through our days. For example, practicing self-compassion through intentions like "I will be kind to myself even though I made a mistake" can transform how we experience our growth.

Remember that growth isn't a destination but a way of being. Each day brings new opportunities to evolve, and just as Cleo Sol promises–things really do get better when we give ourselves the grace and time to bloom.

4. Growth Happens When You Honor What You Can't Control

Letting go isn't just a decision; it's a process. Even when we intellectually know something isn't right for us, emotions don't always follow logic. These lyrics capture the emotional weight of holding on:

Fighting's exhausting, baby.

Letting go isn't just about release–it's about acknowledging the toll that holding on has taken. The fight to keep something that's no longer serving us can be draining, leaving us emotionally depleted, angry and resentful. That's why grief, fear, and guilt often show up in the process:

• Grief – Even if something wasn't good for us, losing it still hurts.

• Fear – If we've built our identity around a relationship or role, who are we without it?

• Guilt – Walking away can bring up thoughts like Did I give up too soon? or What if I regret this?

When your life is breaking down and it's out of your control.

A big part of healing is learning to trust yourself–especially when life feels uncertain. There really is no true way to know what direction life will take you in, but there is peace in knowing you made a decision rooted in truth and one that aligns with your values and desires in life. Sometimes maturity looks like learning to make peace with the unknown and recognize that our strength isn't in controlling everything, but in choosing ourselves even when it's hard.

By releasing what's no longer meant for us, we don't just lose something–we gain clarity, self-trust, and a deeper connection to ourselves. As Cleo sings, we become softer, wiser, and a little more mature.

5. Growth Also Happens in the Quiet and the Unseen

I had to grow the rose in the dark

Everybody sees you falling apart

In Rose in the Dark, Cleo Sol reminds us that growth often happens in the unseen, quiet spaces of our lives. Like a rose growing in darkness, our healing process doesn't need to be visible to others. You have the power to bloom, even in solitude. Proving yourself to others is not a part of your destiny.

Remember, you are allowed to make mistakes, to feel pain, and to rise from it. Each experience shapes you, making you wiser, stronger, and more compassionate. By learning to hold space for your pain and being patient with your growth, you'll find yourself blossoming in ways you never expected.

The Takeaway: Just Hold Out A Little Longer

Rose in The Dark reminds us that life's struggles can become opportunities for deeper self-awareness and becoming more self-attuned. This practice, known as cognitive reframing⁴, helps us view our experiences through a new lens.

Consider reflecting on your past year by asking: What wisdom have I gained from my experiences? How have these challenges shaped me for the better? Reframing shifts your inner dialogue from "I messed up" to "I learned something valuable." Perhaps your heartbreak revealed what you truly desire in a relationship, or a misstep helped define your boundaries. Every experience, including the painful ones, can illuminate who we are and who we're becoming.

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What themes from this piece resonated with you? Leave a comment and stay tuned for Friday’s email: Reflect & Release!

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1. “Ambiguous loss is a person's profound sense of loss and sadness that is not associated with a death of a loved one.”

2. “Self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings.”

3. “Self-deprecation is a form of self-talk that reflects a cognitive state, such as low self-esteem or negative self-regard.”

4. “Cognitive reframing is a technique used to shift your mindset so you're able to look at a situation, person, or relationship from a slightly different perspective.”